Amazing Grace
by Kirishtu
Summary: Alex DeLarge meets an angel and devil in the body of a mortal boy. Takes place after the end of the book.
1. Chapter 1

Originally published on 2008-12-11 - 2009-03-01

I

It wasn't so long ago that he'd be a part of their group, joining in. He'll, he'd be leading them. But as Alex DeLarge stood there on the sidewalk watching the group of teenagers (couldn't be more than fourteen at most really) beat the ever-loving shit out of some defenseless bum, all he felt was nausea.

And he hated it.

But he couldn't look away. Something inside of him wanted him to watch, wanted him to watch and be reminded of what he could've – should've –been doing. Instead, he was avoiding it like all hell.

No one came to the bum's rescue. Alex wasn't surprised. No one wanted to play hero against a mob. It was, essentially, suicide. Eventually, the kids would tire of the game and move on, to find another victim or to do a massive round of fucking. Their laughter made something twist inside Alex's stomach and he forced himself to turn away, to walk away, when he desperately wanted to go over and help out those kids. The nausea wouldn't let him.

So he walked away and ignored the quieting pleas for help. Alex decided he would go home, relax, and maybe seduce some poppet later on. Hands shoved into his pockets, he replayed the beating in his head, trying to find a way to overcome it.

"Shocking, isn't it?"

Alex froze, blinking. "What's shocking?"

"The mentality of those who stand by and do nothing."

I'm talking to air. Alex closed his eyes. "They just don't want to get involved."

"Maybe so, but you lead by example after all. Ah, you mind helping me out?'

"Where are you?"

"More than likely below you."

Alex tried not to laugh at his own insanity as he moved to the edge of the sidewalk, expecting to see nothing at all. Instead, a pair of hazel-green eyes stared up at him, the face of their owner shadowed by the sewer grate.

"What the hell are you doing down there for?" Alex questioned, nose wrinkling a bit at the smell that was wafting forth.

"Hunting, I thought." Replied the boy with a grin. "Promise not to get your suit dirty."

How long the two stared at each other, Alex didn't quite know, and a part of him wanted to just walk away. Sighing, he bent to grab the youth's outstretched arms, and pulled until the kid could scramble out on his own. It seemed like a lifetime ago that Alex would have let such a creature remainin the sewers, or had been with his old droogs, beat the shit out of the kid. Possibly even killed him.

"You okay? You look green."

Alex tried not to glare. He settled for narrowing his eyes in ant attempt to look truly angry. Instead, the kid only began to laugh.

"Don't try so hard, buddy. You'll give yourself an aneurism and then where would you be?"

"I hardly think that glaring with the intent to fry an enemy's brain is aneurism-worthy." Alex retorted.

"So I'm an enemy?" the boy questioned. Alex simply nodded slightly, and the boy laughed harder. "Fine thing to say when you just aided said enemy."

"Are you trying to defy my logic?"

"Is it working?"

Alex decided to openly stare, unable to come up with a retort witty enough for his liking. So he studied the boy, becoming aware that he was being studied in return. Under all that filth was a remarkably pretty creature (as far as Alex could tell) and a wit to match Alex's own. Hazel-green eyes were framed by slightly curling strands of blackened-blond, most of it tucked under a moth-eaten wool hat. A scarf of deep royal purple was wound around the youth's neck, while the rest of him was covered in patched layers of what little he could find, no doubt. Even the boy's boots lacked shoelaces.

"How can you go around dressed like that?" Alex questioned.

"Same reason you go around dressed like that." Came the expected reply.

"I doubt that, little brother," Alex said as he circled the boy. "Certainly a filthy wretch you are."

"It's all in how you look at it. I could be cleaner than you, big brother."

"Are you trying to get hurt?"

The boy began to laugh again. "With how green you looked watching the kids, I doubt you could hurt anything."

Alex raised an eyebrow. He took a slow step forward, and placed his arm around the kid's shoulders. He didn't say a word – just led him far enough into the alley where they wouldn't be seen or bothered. With a gentleness unbecoming him, Alex used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe away the dirt on the boy's face, examining him when he was done. Then he began the touches, gentle strokes here and there, watching those hazel-green orbs darkened with confusion. All he had to do was weave the web and the boy would be his to do with whatever he pleased. Without warning, Alex crushed their mouths together, tasting dirt and the boy's own flavour, and he tried to be sensual, seduction.

The kid, irritatingly enough, began to laugh into their connection.

Alex pulled back, not quite scowling.

"If you wanted a roll, brother, all you had to do was ask." The kid said with a grin.

"You're frustrating," Alex said, albeit weakly.

"No. You just've not encountered someone like me."

Alex heaved something akin to a sigh and let the dirty creature go, no longer in the mood for a roll or torture. No point in it if he was just going to laugh. It was almost like a blow to an already bruised ego.

"Don't fret, brother," said the kid, following Alex out of the alley. "Doesn't become you."

"And who are you to say such things?" Alex snapped, whirling on the young bum.

The kid gave him a wan smile. "Last time I checked, my given name is Kyle."

Blinking in utter confusion, Alex blew out a sigh and reached out to pat the boy's head like one would an overly eager puppy. Then he turned on his heel and began the lonely walk home.

"Hey!" came Kyle's voice, a grin still present. "Will I see you again, huh?"

Alex paused and looked back at the young bum, eyes halfway closed as the thought and debated. Why the hell not? Alex finally decided. Having a new droog to fool around with would be fun. And it would keep his mind off of other things. Unpleasant memories, for example.

"Yeah, sure," the blonde man said finally. "We'll meet here tomorrow, and no more sewers."

Kyle grinned impishly and gave Alex a salute, absolutely and erringly mocking. Then his disappeared back into the alley and was gone from Alex's sight. Alex could only grin maddeningly and turned around to continue home. Perhaps he wouldn't be disappointed in this new droog after all.


	2. Chapter 2

II

Alex once could find ways to entertain himself without worrying about consequences. He once could lie naked on his bed and listen to Ludwig and have the most amazing musicgasm of his life. He once felt young. He once was feared. Now he was just Alex DeLarge, another orange in the press, fucked up beyond all reasoning. He had no droogs, no pet, no music, and he couldn't even stomach violence anymore because of what They had done to him. Hell, he was only living in this apartment because the government essentially gave it to him.

He turned off the shower water and leaned his forehead against the tile. Today was one of those 'I don't know what to do with myself' days. He could go seduce some sexy little morsel, but that was always more trouble than it was worth. The last few dumplings he'd had had been steeped in so much angst that Alex had willingly gone into the bathroom to be sick just to get away from them. While listening to them cry, Alex had imagined wringing their pretty little necks in the throes of passion. It was enough to keep him retching until they'd gone.

But he didn't want to seduce little sisters today. No, Alex had his sights set on a potential droog – a crazy hobo who called himself Kyle.

A lifetime ago, Alex would have beat the shit out of Kyle simply because the kid lived on the streets. Now, though, Alex was actually considering befriending the boy if only to sate his own need for companionship.

Contrary to popular belief, Alex didn't like being a solitary creature. He liked to be surrounded by people he could play with. People he could order around. Kyle seemed just the type Alex liked to have following him, too.

Finally, with his skin prickling from cold, Alex stepped from the stall to dry and dress, taking the time to make himself look good for society. If They saw him with Kyle, perhaps They'd think he was trying to help the poor kid get a job. Or something.

Satisfied with his appearance, Alex stepped from his apartment to the outside world. He walked slowly, rather enjoying the sounds this stupid city made, taking in all forms of life, jumbling them together, and spitting them back out in a massive ball of, well, shit.

It was the only word that came to mind.

And people nowadays were shitty. Their attitudes could make even a perpetually happy individual slit their wrists from all the bullshit that spouted from people's mouths. It was all about the Id, it seemed. As much as Alex enjoyed feeding his Id, the levels to which it had grown simply for society were ridiculous.

"Ah but, that's what makes life fun, my brother."

Alex turned to face Kyle, scowling. "What, you read minds, do you?"

"Oh yes. My psychic powers arefully developed," Kyle replied with a grin. "No, you were speaking out loud."

Alex sighed. "You're impossible."

Kyle just laughed. "Makes the game fun, my brother."

Alex could only shake his head as he examined the dirty creature. Not much had changed in Kyle's appearance (or demeanor, which to Alex, was amazing) except for a fresh cut on the kid's lip. Unable to help himself, Alex reached out to caress that busted lip, enjoying the feel of blood on his fingertips. And, to his delight, there was no feeling of nausea.

"You like blood, eh?" Kyle asked against Alex's digits.

"Used to make it," Alex replied offhandedly, "when I was a kid."

Kyle made an understanding noise. Then he withdrew from Alex's touch, circling the elder male. Alex imagined it was like a kitten, trying to figure out how to pounce on a particularly large insect. Finally, satisfied apparently, Kyle stood before Alex, just simply watching him.

Alex wanted to grin, but he forced himself to keep a straight face. "Anything you want to do today, little brother?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

Well, well. Alex tilted his head as if debating. "Perhaps you should."

Kyle laughed. Alex couldn't help the smile that grew. Around this kid, it was impossible to keep a straight face. Finally, Alex let out a chuckle of his own and moved closer to the dirty creature, smiling in a way that should have reminded Kyle of a predator scenting an easy meal. Instead, Kyle just smiled back impishly, stood his ground, and waited.

"Well, Alex softly declared, "I won't take you anywhere if you're smelling like that."

"What's wrong with the way I smell?"

"It's like you rolled in garbage and took a dip in the sewage drains."

Kyle just looked at Alex. Finally, the kid shrugged. "Well, if you're so intimidated by my aroma, by all means, show me to a place to bathe."

"I'm not intimidated." Alex retorted.

"Keep telling yourself that," the dirty creature replied, "maybe you'll believe it one day."

Alex couldn't help it. He knew what it would do to him, but he reached out and slapped Kyle across the mouth. Even as the nausea washed over him at the action and the fresh trickle of blood form Kyle's lip, he couldn't help but feel joy. Kyle just sort of stared at him for a moment before gingerly dabbing at the wound with his tongue. Alex was surprised, to say the least, when Kyle just sort of rocked back on his heels, still tasting his own blood. No tears, no pleas, nothing changed about the dirty creature at all.

Finally, Alex reached out to take a gentle hold of Kyle's chin, getting his attention. "Are you going to be snippy again?"

Kyle smiled. "Only if you ask, real nice like."

The blonde man shook his head and putan arm around his new droog's shoulders, smiling. "Then why don't we go clean you up?"

"Make me presentable then, huh?" Kyle said, almost laughing. "You know I would be considered clean in the Dark Age."

"This isn't the Dark Age," Alex retorted. "And besides, the people who lived then had no concept of hygiene at all."

"Whereas we glamourize it with scented body sprays and antiperspirants that advertise getting laid."

"Kid, it's all about getting laid."

"Maybe for you, but it's not all about sex for me. I like the idea of faux-romance and deciding then if I want this particular person to breed with."

Alex looked down at his new droog, seeing that devil-may-care smile. "Breeding?"

"I don't want a wife. Just a kid, you know? And I don't want a dumb kid. He needs to have an intelligent, good-looking mom."

Alex only tilted his head, mulling over this. He and Kyle were similar in the respect that each wanted a child. Kyle, however, was a kid himself and it was unlikely any woman would let Kyle between her thighs. Alex, though, desperately wanting a kid sometime in his future, could seduce any poppet to his bed.

"I don't think you'll ever have a kid," Alex said, pretending the comment was offhand.

Kyle laughed. "I know I won't. Women don't look at something like me unless they want to make peace with God."

Alex frowned, pausing to let Kyle walk ahead of him. At one time, Alex would have killed this droog because he lived on the streets. He would have enjoyed the beating and would have kept on doing what he would be doing, not caring if Kyle became the next statistic. But there was something about that dirty, scruffy boy that sang to Alex in a way that no one had ever really sung to him before. Kyle didn't judge Alex, the blonde slowly realized. Kyle just accepted and went on with his life. Indeed, Kyle was far from miserable, rather happier than anyone Alex had ever met or known. Happier than Alex himself. And, if only for that, Alex envied him.

"Brother, you coming? You promised me a bath." Kyle called, hands on his hips as if scolding.

Alex could only give a Cheshire grin. "So I did."


	3. Chapter 3

III

Alex had to admit, at least to himself, Kyle cleaned up quite nicely. Orange-blonde hair clung in wet clumps against his neck, a towel around his thin hips that did nothing for him. Alex himself just reclined on the bed enjoying the sight of this young droog trying to figure out where his patchwork clothes had gone and why only his scarf out of all his ensemble was neatly folded atop an outfit Alex had long since outgrew.

"Thou doest protest too much," Kyle said in a dramatic tone, staring at Alex from under his bangs.

Alex stretched languidly and shrugged."I have not the slightest clue about what you're suggesting."

"Of course not. My clothes sprouted legs and ran off to the nearest incinerator on their own, yes?"

"That's exactly what happened. I tried to stop them, but they insisted so."

"I'm pretty sure there's a law against that."

"Only if you get caught."

Kyle laughed, nearly doubling over in the sarcasticness of the noise before he sobered, straightening up to pin the elder with a smoldering gaze. He said nothing, only stared, before he pulled off the towel around his waist and began to dress.

"Nice ass." Alex said softly.

"It does entice so." Kyle replied just as softly.

Alex made a humming noise in reply and just watched Kyle try to figure out the unfamiliar dress. His eyes drifted over that scrawny body – not really emaciated, but Alex fancied he could see ribs, and then he wondered what Kyle would look like torn open – and then he found himself staring into hazel eyes. Alex simply tilted his head back, looking down at his droog and quite aware the boy was dangerously close to his hips.

"What are you imagining?" Kyle asked, easing back out of range of a kick or anything else.

"How pretty you are."

"Liar." The urchin replied with a grin.

Alex frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Your eyes, brother," Kyle moved off the bed, stretching as he adjusted the clothes on his small frame. "Your eyes get dark when you think about blood."

Alex blinked, shifting off the bed to follow Kyle around. "What do you know? What's locked in that head of yours?"

"Plenty of things. I am allowed into a library, you know."

"A dirty thing like you, allowed around all those clean books?"

"Sic transit Gloria mundi,"Kyle said with a grin. Alex froze at the use of Latin before he burst out laughing. Kyle just stared at him with a lessened grin, as if he'd join in if he knew what the joke was.

"Sic transit Gloria mundi," Alex repeated. "Certainly describes me."

"Mm, not really. In your case, you'll heal up. I did."

"What?"

Kyle pirouetted around Alex when the blonde gestured for him to get out of the bedroom, the orange-blonde haired youth bouncing a little as he pulled on his laceless boots. Before Kyle could actually exit the apartment, Alex caught him by his shoulder.

"What do you mean, I'll heal?" he asked, watching Kyle's eyes grow confused for a moment.

"Oh!" Kyle exclaimed brightly upon remembering. "Your head is messed up right? You wish you could do something, but can't, right? Well, it'll go away."

"How do you know?" Alex asked snidely, becoming frustrated with the kid.

"They did it to me once, when I was little."

"How'd you keep it from ruining you?"

"I turned off my brain."

Alex couldn't even voice his next words, just staring at the young droog. Kyle wasn't looking at him anymore, staring off to the side of the hallway, focused on one spot so intensely that his pupils had dilated, and Alex was left wondering what to do to get his droog back. The boy standing before him wasn't Alex's Kyle. This was a boy who had endured and locked away every bad memory behind a cheerful demeanor.

Well, Alex decided, I'll push later. "Kyle."

The boy blinked, looking shyly up at Alex. The elder fought the recoil and fought to keep from striking the brat when he saw the playful grin.

"What?" Alex asked, defensive.

"You called me by my name," Kyle said, looking pleased. Then he turned on his heel and began to walk away, leaving Alex standing alone, stunned.

He'd called Kyle by name. He'd taken their relationship to another level without realizing it. No longer were they leader and follower but they were something a little less than… than what? Friends?

"You're giving yourself an aneurism," Kyle said, having wandered back over to the man. Alex stared at Kyle, face carefully guarded as his hand began to curl into a fist.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now," Alex growled, fighting down nausea.

"Well, I don't even know your name."

Alex's body just froze, his eyes locked onto Kyle's. Then he began to laugh, shaking his head. Before Kyle could even speak, Alex lashed out, taking hold of the smaller's chin to force him to look into Alex's eyes.

"Never fuck with me like that, understand?" Alex said in a soft croon, a tone that he knew Kyle would not misinterpret.

The young urchin just slightly canted his head. "How would you like me to fuck with you?"

Kyle was out of his grip and halfway down the hall before Alex got his wits about him again. Giving a soft snarl and desiring to beat his droog black and blue, Alex stalked after the younger man, lips curled in a decidedly cruel smile. Of course, he softened it when he found Kyle waiting for him by the stairwell, reaching out to gently stroke Kyle's cheek.

A smart boy, Alex thought, when Kyle stood his ground as the pets continued, just watching Alex. Finally, Alex sidestepped Kyle, heading down the stairs.

"Are you coming?" Alex asked innocently, looking back at his droog with a Cheshire smile. Kyle's skin paled a little, but he moved down the stairs after his leader, his own Cheshire smile beginning to grow.

"Let's get something to eat," Alex declared, setting up the trap so sweetly, "then we'll go play."

Kyle gave Alex his best 'I'm game' smile. "Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

IV

Alex was aware of Kyle holding his hair away from his face, and not much else. The two had fallen into a routine of sorts – Alex would bring Kyle back to his apartment for a bath and then the two would walk the city, simply talking. But there were weeks where Alex wouldn't see Kyle at all, and he'd grow angry when Kyle wasn't waiting for him at the alley. So this time, when he saw Kyle – a dirty, scrawny rag-covered Kyle – he snapped.

Alex hadn't even realized the nausea was rising to a crescendo until he'd stumbled his way into the alley and began to be violently ill. And he couldn't understand why Kyle – bloody and bruised, fucking beautiful – wasn't running away. No, Kyle was beside him, holding Alex's hair back, humming a soft hymn Alex had heard somewhere in his childhood.

When he finally stopped retching, Alex turned his head to look at Kyle, and saw only understanding reflected in those hazel eyes.

"Why?" Alex choked out between spitting. "Why did you leave? Where did you go?"

Kyle squirmed a little. "There was a concert," he hedged.

Alex straightened, wiping his mouth with his shirtsleeve as he stared down at his dirty droog. "A concert?"

Kyle bowed his head in remorse at the undertones of anger in Alex's kind words.

"I should've told you, I know, but I was excited. I didn't want to miss it because I missed the last one and-"

Alex cut Kyle off, placing his index finger on the boy's lips.

"Just tell me what concert." Alex said sweetly but demanding all the same. Kyle mumbled something. Alex let a smile grow and stroked the younger boy's cheek. "I won't ask nicely a second time."

"Third, but that's beside the point."

"Kyle."

The young urchin heaved a sigh. "I went to see Chopin, all right?"

"Chopin is dead."

"So is God, but I don't hear anyone complaining."

Alex couldn't help the amused smile that grew, finally sighing. "Nietzsche was making a point about society."

"Nietzsche was a whiny little bastard, end of story."

This time Alex laughed out loud. Kyle just looked at him with that confused smile, willing to join in. Alex shook his head, however, and put an arm around his droog's shoulders.

"We'll get you a bath," Alex said, "and then we'll discuss Nietzsche."

"You don't like Chopin, do you?" Kyle asked as he plodded along beside his leader, watching Alex's eyes darken in some bloody memory before the darkness cleared.

"I prefer Beethoven."

"The dog?"

Alex had to bite his cheek to keep from lashing out at the dumb kid. Only when he heard the barely contained giggles did he realize he'd been baited. He looked down at Kyle, seeing the mirth in his hazel eyes. Alex was struck with a thought at that moment, one that made him wonder. Kyle was unusual, certainly, but the degree to which he was unusual was unusual. Alex let the dirty ragamuffin get ahead of him, and as Kyle moved ahead, Alex pictured wings on that small back. An angel? Alex snorted at his own thought. Even if there were such things, an angel would never choose Alex. He was the Devil's child, through and through.

"Brother!" Kyle's voice broke through Alex's reverie, and for a long moment, Alex thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.

Then a cloud moved over the ray of sunlight, and Kyle was just dirty Kyle again, but still he shone with the radiance of the heavens. Alex shook his head and started after Kyle once more, letting his droog take hold of his hand. It was an oddly nice feeling, Alex decided, being genuinely wanted. So Alex decided to play it up a bit, maybe get something close to affection from Kyle.

Maybe get something else too.

Almost automatically, Kyle bee-lined tothe bathroom once in Alex's apartment, shedding his dirty attire as he went. Alex mournfully picked up the clothes, realizing that the articles had once been his. At this rate, his entire wardrobe would end up in the garbage.

Just as the blonde man picked up that annoyingly purple scarf he heard the water turn on, and a thought crossed his mind. He decided the clothes could wait and tossed them in the hamper, Kyle's shortly followed by his own. Slowly, deliberately, Alex eased into the bathroom and opened the shower door. Kyle merely stared at him from beneath the spray, hazel orbs drifting downward to give an appraising stare before Alex demanded the boy's full attention.

"So," Kyle began softly, easing into Alex's personal space as the elder soaped a washcloth, "Beethoven, huh?"

"Of course." Alex replied almost curtly. "His music is something that you can actually move to. Imagine things to. Chopin is just – it's piano."

"Piano can be equated to imagination."

"Not like Ludwig. Cellos and violins, they're voices screaming out as though they're calling for war. Pianos are just peace-loving creatures."

"So Ludwig is to bloodshed like Chopin is to wanking."

Alex blinked. Shrugged. "Close enough, I suppose."

Kyle laughed, closing his eyes as Alex made to scrub his face and neck. "Chopin can be used for violence, you know. Have you ever listened to him? To anyone besides the good Beethoven?"

Alex's face twisted into a hateful glare. "I can't."

"Of course you can."

"No, I can't." Alex said angrily, shoving Kyle into the spray of hot water. "No music of any kind."

Kyle shook himself, pulling clumps of wet hair away from his eyes to stare up at his leader. Very carefully, he ventured, "Why not?"

"Because They did something to me. Messed with my brain and made me equate music to violence, and violence to sickness. Therefore-"

"Music equals pain." Kyle said understandingly. Alex gave the boy an affectionate pat.

"That's right."

"That's silly," Kyle said finally, taking the washcloth from the elder to scrub his body.

"However silly, it's still working."

"I see." Kyle hummed softly, eyes closed in thought. "Well, it'll go away."

"Alex frowned. "How do you know?"

Kyle just looked at Alex, judging and weighing Alex supposed. Then the kid just shrugged.

"They tried it on me. Some sort of experiment to try and get me off the streets. Didn't work."

"Why not?"

"Like I said before, I turned off my brain." Kyle gave a rueful smile. "I picked a point on the screen, and stared at it. Sound was the first to go, then vision. After a while, They gave up."

Alex blinked. Could it have really been that simple all along? Could he have done what Kyle had done? Simply shut everything out until They stopped getting results? Too late to try now though, Alex mused.

"I find ways around it." Alex said finally, watching water sluice down Kyle's body and swirl down the drain.

"Everyone does," the younger man replied. "It's survival, determination –whatever you want to call it."

"Desire." Alex mumbled.

Kyle giggled. "That too."

Alex shifted, well aware of Kyle's eyes on him. He met those hazel orbs with his own brown gaze, well aware that Kyle was tensing. Whether in anticipation or fear Alex didn't really know or care. But what he did know was that he had found a kindred soul, someone who was, essentially, just like him– only more innocent.

"What do you desire?" Alex asked even as he traced his fingertips along Kyle's jaw line.

"Anything you want," Kyle replied with a smile. "But I'd like to know your name."

Alex blinked. "Why?"

"Well, screaming 'brother' at the top of my lungs during the throes of passion is a little creepy."

Alex couldn't help it. He should have been annoyed, even angry, but there was only mirth.

"Well," he said between fits of barely contained giggles. "I don't want to tell you."

Kyle grinned up at him then, head tilted to one side. "Well, then, allow me to make your acquaintance, man whose name I do not know."

"Shut up," Alex growled in jest and crushed their mouths together, holding tight to the smaller, startled frame.


	5. Chapter 5

V

"Nietzsche was a whiny bastard," Kyle replied in between bites to Alex's thighs. "He couldn't deal with the world and was fucked up anyway."

"He really wasn't fucked up to begin with. He just went insane." Alex corrected, shifting at Kyle's prompting and propping himself up on his elbows to watch the creature between his legs. "He was stuck in an asylum and took his own life."

"After writing Also Sprach Zarathustra and putting Darwin on a pedestal."

"It wasn't like that – do that again – at all. Zarathustra was about the never-ending cycle of life and Nietzsche coming to terms with that."

Kyle hummed around the head of Alex's cock before he let it out with an audible pop. "Do you believe in a never-ending cycle of life?"

"Get back to sucking." Alex ordered. When Kyle complied, Alex closed his eyes and tilted his head back. "I believe that you make your own destiny. People just fuck it up."

"Yet you like people."

"Certain people. Not the ones that tell you 'Don't do that' and 'You can't'. I hate them." Alex said, putting his hand on Kyle's head and pushing him down, hearing the boy choke for a good few minutes before he let Kyle breathe.

"Nietzsche said almost the same thing, I think," Kyle whispered, "just only it was about women."

Alex simply shrugged and pulled the boy up for a slow kiss. He took a moment to savour the soft texture of the urchin's lips, to learn his particular taste (cinnamon, or maybe peppermint), before he let Kyle go. Automatically, the orange-blonde haired boy began to kiss at Alex's neck and chest, as Alex shifted to lay backdown. The elder folded his hands beneath his head and let Kyle have free reign.

"Do I dare ask how you know to pleasure a man?" Alex asked with a hint of a cruel smile.

Kyle looked up at him with an impish grin. "You could. Doesn't mean I'll answer."

"And why won't you answer?"

"My mouth might be busy." And Kyle descended on Alex's cock again, tongue swirling around the head and under the cap, along the vein and over the slit. Alex groaned and buried his hands inKyle's hair, speech lost to him.

It didn't matter if Kyle had played lover to anyone before Alex. What mattered now was that he was Alex's and Alex's alone. What mattered now was that talented tongue was on his cock and that lithe body was between his legs. Heat was building in the elder man's abdomen, the fire slowly spreading to his brain. He was certainly temped to come in Kyle's mouth, an he almost did when Kyle scraped his teeth ever so gently up his cock.

"Get up here." Alex ordered huskily, pulling hard at Kyle's hair. The boy quickly obeyed, straddling Alex's hips as the elder hungrily devoured his mouth, tasting himself and getting only more riled. The thought of making Kyle bleed, however, caused the pleasure to dissipate; Kyle blinked as he felt the erection against his stomach began to flag.

"Hey," Kyle said softly, "look at me."

When their eyes met, Alex found Kyle's hazel eyes a dark brown, almost the colour of dried blood. Alex found himself mesmerized by that colour, and felt Kyle shift to his knees, hands cupping Alex's chin, tilting his head back to press his lip to the elder's ear.

"Stop thinking," Kyle whispered, lips brushing gently over Alex's cartilage. "Just feel."

"What do you-?"

Alex moaned as Kyle wrapped his hand around his cock and guided it into his unprepared passage. He felt flesh rip, blood flow, and the impossible tightness of his… what? Droog? Friend? Lover?

Lover, Alex finally decided, putting a hand on the small of Kyle's back, supporting him as the younger man adjusted to the feel of something large and hot entering a place that was, decidedly, an exit.

"What did you mean, 'stop thinking'?" Alex questioned as he felt Kyle begin to move, a gentle rhythm of up, forward, down, back, and up again.

"Well, when you think about what bothers you, you get pale." Kyle said softly. "So stop thinking about what bothers you, and just do it. It probably won't have any effect, either way, but you're smart."

Which was true, Alex mused. He had found ways around the sickness before, so why was it any different now?

"Turn off my brain, hm?"

Kyle let out a gasping laugh. "Exactly."

Alex hummed feeling blood sliding down his cock with each movement Kyle gave. The sickness started to near its ugly head then, and Alex closed his eyes, trying to turn off his brain.

He growled then, frustrated. "It's not working!"

Kyle was silent for a moment, still moving slowly. Then he kissed Alex's lips, his nose, his throat, driving all thought from the elder's brain. Then Kyle bit him on the shoulder. Hard. Enough to break skin.

Alex snarled and bit Kyle in retaliation, rolling to pin the boy beneath him and fold him near in half, slamming into him harder and harder, driving the breath from the smaller form. He wasn't thinking at all about blood or pain; no, Alex was thinking only of pleasure. Kyle's bite had shown him how to get around the sickness.

He felt Kyle's muscles constricting, squeezing him, making it damn near impossible to move. So Alex rolled them again and watched Kyle ride him. Alex's hands remained on Kyle's hips, partly steadying the boy, partly holding him in place so he could slam up into that hot, wet, tight orifice. Without warning, Kyle choked, nails scoring furrows in Alex's chest as he came, hot ribbons of white splattering against Alex's abdomen. The blonde couldn't take the impossible tightness much longer, andso after a few more thrusts, Alex, too, came, his orgasm filling Kylewith his own seed.

Kyle slumped, body pulsing even as Alex's member began to soften, panting as he tried to move but couldn't. He looked at Alex apologetically, and Alex could do was smile like the cat who ate the fat canary and croon to his lover. Kyle eased himself down onto Alex's chest, sighing in what Alex could only assume was bliss. Carefully, Alex rolled them, pulled out from Kyle's body, and rolled back over to sleep.

He woke a moment later, hearing soft singing to the side, and rolled to find Kyle naked by the bedroom window, staring out as he softly sung the first stanza of Amazing Grace over and over again.

Alex just stared at the younger for a long while, envisioning again the angel instead of the boy. Then he closed his eyes to block out the image. Even if there were things as angels, one would never choose him, especially one so innocent as Kyle.

"Shut up and come to bed." Alex barked. Silence and then the bed dipped, and Alex's felt Kyle's back pressed against his own.

Alex fell asleep, fancying that he could feel soft plumage against his spine.


	6. Chapter 6

VI

Over the course of the next few weeks, the weather grew colder and their trysts grew more frequent. Alex told himself that it was because he wanted to be the one to end Kyle's insignificant life. The weather was just disobeying him. Kyle, as usual just laughed and went along with Alex's demands, never once asking to know Alex's name or asking for some sort of compensation when Alex's cock tore his insides to bits.

Kyle, Alex had come to understand, was a free and kindred spirit. Kyle had no ambition, but was ready to help if it was needed; he had no idea of the cruelties of the world, only that there were. He was just, simply, Kyle.

They talked about music. They talked about philosophy, psychology, ethics. Whatever they wanted to talk about they did. There was no love between them (Alex knew there wasn't – his greatest love was Ludwig and there was no room for anything or anyone else) but there was a mutual… something that drove each to find release of the physical in each other's embrace.

And Alex liked Kyle. Kyle, unlike the others, had a brain. He used that brain and held highly intelligent conversations with Alex because of it. Kyle was, quite simply, Alex's. And Kyle never disputed it.

The night snow was just beginning to blanket the streets when Alex rolled over in bed, finding Kyle watching him with an odd gleam in his hazel eyes.

"What?" Alex asked, defensive.

Kyle only smiled and stretched. "Christmas is next week."

"I'm not getting you anything."

"Didn't think you would. But!" Kyle shifted then, sitting up to look down at his leader (alpha, really) with a smile.

"But?" Alex ventured carefully.

"Make me three promises. That's all I want."

"You want promises. Not my name."

Kyle shrugged. "You'll tell me your name when you're ready to, and yes, I want promises."

Alex rolled his eyes, fighting to keep the grumbling to a minimum. What kind of idiot wanted fucking promises on Christmas? Alex just glared at Kyle, wanting the boy to back down.

Kyle's eyes became the colour of dried blood and Alex knew he was serious.

"All right, fine." Alex snapped, glaring almost-hate at the smaller creature. "What promises?"

Kyle just looked at him for a long while, silent. Finally, he smiled his own small Cheshire smile.

"First, don't forget me. Second name your firstborn after me, and lastly, listen to some fucking music."

Ale couldn't help himself. He began to laugh, aware of how it made Kyle seem more confused than angry. Finally, Alex pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, gave them a good rub and sighed.

"I promise," he said simply.

Kyle smiled a smile that reminded Alex of a dying man receiving all of God's grace and settled back down on the bed, closing his eyes. Alex watched him for what must have been hours before he finally reached to brush stray hairs away from Kyle's face, wondering what Kyle knew that he didn't. He fell asleep not long afterward, dreaming odd dreams of violence that didn't make him ill.

When Alex woke, Kyle was already gone, signaling a new day had come. Alex went thought his morning routine with the enthusiasm of a diabetic snail, trying to catch the fading tails of the last dream he'd been having. His angel had been trying to tell him something, but he hadn't been able to hear the words.

The world was covered in a blanket of white and there was a fierce chill in the air. Alex shivered despite himself and began the trek to work, demanding silently that Kyle be at their alley afterward.

It surprised Alex how quickly he fled work when his shift was over, the blonde hurrying without the urgency needed to his and Kyle's alley. Kyle, unfortunately, wasn't present. Rage washed through Alex then, feeling betrayed. Kyle should have been there, waiting for him. Where the hell was he?

Alex grit his teeth and put on a stoic mask when he felt a tug on his jacket, turning slowly to find his angel behind him, staring at him with a small smile on his lips. Alex fought the urge to strike the younger boy and instead gave a terse "What?"

"Come with me," Kyle asked, taking Alex's hand. "There's something I want you to see."

Kyle didn't give Alex a chance to protest; he pulled him down the street, still smiling away. Alex ground his teeth and allowed himself to be pulled like a dog on a leash, all the while trying to figure out if he'd benefit from shoving Kyle in the path of an oncoming bus. But Kyle just pulled him along, treating any resistance as an invitation to tug harder. Alex was about to yank his hand from the smaller's grip and just go home when Kyle pulled him up the stone stairs of a church.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Alex demanded, focusing on Kyle through the snowflakes. The blonde simply folded his arms over his chest and stared, feeling the beginnings of disgust when the street rat simply rolled his eyes.

"Just trust me, brother. Come inside."

That said Kyle turned, pulled open a huge oak door, and vanished within the House of God, leaving Alex alone on the stair. Alex was sorely temped to just turn around and head home, screw whatever Kyle wanted to show him. Intense curiosity won over, and Alex stepped through the same portal, expecting to burst into flames. When he didn't, he breathed a sigh of disappointment and stepped into the large, cavernous foyer, finding Kyle standing beneath a curved ceiling, head back, eyes closed. Curious, Alex moved over to his, what? Lover?, and looked up into the ceiling.

"What are you waiting for?" Alex asked, taking amusement in Kyle's heavy sigh.

"Close your eyes and listen."

Shaking his head, Alex just watched Kyle for a moment longer before he heard the thunder. It rumbled long and low, bubbling up from his feet and spreading to his limbs before it even faded came the sound of the organ, each note lilting and haunting and creating its own vibration of hunger. Finally, Alex closed his eyes as instructed and tilted his head back. Again came the rumble of thunder, the organ notes coming swifter, swirling up into the ceiling before rattling Alex's bones with their intensity. His mind was clear, devoid of any thoughts about anything. Then he heard Kyle began to sing, even though the words didn't match the music.

Alex fancied he heard Chopin's piano, beautiful and soft, full of a passion that brought about feelings of peace and tranquility. Then came the thunder of Ludwig von Beethoven's trumpets and trombones and the feelings of intense pleasure that were heightened by the feelings of peace. They twined in the crashing crescendo of trumpets and trombones, the singing strings of violins, the rumbles of the cellos, and when Alex opened his eyes to look at Kyle, he found the boy watching him with a knowing smile and an unreadable look in his hazel eyes.

Kyle simply asked, "Do you understand now?"

Numbly, Alex gave a nod. Kyle smiled bright and moved over to Alex, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. Alex simply held onto Kyle, quite aware that he had just missed something terribly important.


	7. Chapter 7

VII

There was one final lesson that Alex had to learn, Kyle knew, watching the elder man sleep. He'd been fighting ever since meeting this kindred soul in the hopes of creating a masterpiece, something that would be remembered in the minds of men even when he the teacher, the creator, was long gone. Kyle reached over to touch Alex's face, admiring the man who had been his companion, his lover for this short while. Even if he didn't know the blonde's name, Kyle felt fulfilled in a way that only artists and musicians could understand. As the sun rose behind the curtains, Kyle watched Alex stir and knew without knowing today would be the day. Maybe not now, an hour from now, or even this afternoon, but today was the day.

So as Alex woke, Kyle rolled atop him for one, final ride – something a still-slightly asleep Alex greatly appreciated – and simply lay there after both had reached climax.

He didn't fight when he was pushed off, allowing for Alex to go about his morning routine. Kyle didn't argue when he was shoved under the warm spray. Didn't bother to resist when he was given new clothes (and his scarf) to dress in. Kyle didn't say a word until they were on the street, about to go their separate ways for the final time.

Then he called to Alex, "Do you remember what you promised me?"

Alex turned slightly to slash a glance at him, said nothing. Then he disappeared just as a slight dusting of snow began to fall. Kyle only smiled.

The young urchin wiled away the hours picking up cans and bottles, taking them to exchange them for coin. It would be an early present, but Kyle knew Alex would appreciate it anyway. With his gift tucked against his chest, Kyle all but ran back to the apartment. He knew he couldn't get in, but he could wedge his gift beneath the door far enough that thieves couldn't get at it.

That done, Kyle skipped down to his alleyway, pulled his coat and scarf tighter around him and settled in to wait.

Darkness began to fall and with it the temperature, but Kyle didn't move. He'd settled down with his back to the alley and most of him visible on the sidewalk, eyes upturned to the heavens he couldn't see.

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound_

Kyle's lips moved but he was no longer concentrating on sound, simply singing what he couldn't hear-

_That saved a wretch like me_

- because he couldn't hear. His toes and fingers had gone numb hours before and somewhere in his subconscious he knew-

_I once was lost, but now am found_

- he was shivering. People walked by, not hearing him, not seeing him, but it was too late anyway. The lesson had begun without the student's audience and –

_Was blind, but now I see_

- would be finished the same way. Kyle felt warmth, just the beginnings of warmth in his extremities and closed his already closed eyes.

_Amazing Grace – sweet the – that saved a– like me. – once was lost – now am -. Was blind, - now I –_

Alex simply stared at the clock, watching all the extra minutes tick by. He'd been forced to stay late because some bastard had called out, leaving a mountain of work to be done. And, for someone reason, Alex had been volunteered to finish the damn ingrate's work for him while he, more than likely, was outbanging some biddy.

So, whether the bastard's work-pile was finished or not (which a good portion of it wasn't) Alex was leaving, because there was a niggling feeling in his gut about something. The clock ticked out a staccato rhythm, and rang exactly at midnight, the hour of the angels. Alex was out of his desk and out into the street in record time, pausing only to pull on his heavy coat against the freezing bit of the cold.

As he walked, he became aware of a crowd around his and Kyle's alley, and figured some pissant had gotten the shit beat out of him. He'd been about to continue on when he heard a woman whisper to her friend.

"Poor child. He was so young too, shouldn't have been on the streets."

Enticed by his own curiosity, Alex stepped through the ever-growing crowd, aware many were calling for an ambulance, though a hearse would have been more appropriate. Alex froze for a split second before moving to kneel before his angel. If it weren't for the blue lips and the ice on the ashen lashes, Kyle could have simply been sleeping.

But Alex knew.

Do you remember what you promised me?

It sounded so much like a farewell. It had been, Alex realized, for the heavens had called his angel back home. Alex understood, profoundly understood, the lessons he had been given in the past months.

His angel had taught him how to be a predator. He had taught him how to be a lover even if the sentiment was false. He had taught Alex how to turn off his brain and just, simply, feel.

His angel had created his masterpiece.

Alex unwound Kyle's royal purple scarf with a reverence no one in the crowd would understand. They simply saw a cruel man stealing a scarf from a dead boy, not a student accepting a mantle from his teacher, accepting that he was no longer an apprentice, but now a master himself.

Alex was gone by the time ambulance had come to take his angel's empty shell away. Alex simply stood before his window, clad only in that royal purple scarf as a soft piano played in the distant background, the serenity broken by a thunder roll ofdrums and strings that only made the piano appreciated just as much as the crashing cymbals.

Against the music came a voice, low as if to whisper a promise to the unforgiving dark of the world outside the window. In counter of the music, Alex sang one last dirge to his fallen master, a way to tell his angel that he remembered.

_Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound_

Do you remember what you promised me?

_That saved a wretch like me_

To listen to music again.

_I once was lost, but now am found_

To name my firstborn after you.

_Was blind_

To never, ever, forget you.

_But now, I see._

*_Amazing Grace – hymn – byJohn Newton_


End file.
